In what at times seems like a total surprise move by the universe, we have found ourselves in one of the many working-mom/stay-at-home-dad households. Who knew that in 2009 a development officer with a bachelor's degree could earn more than a newly minted attorney? We tried to convince ourselves it was worth it, that if we could just get through the next few rough years (years!!) we would be ahead financially, our kids would be easier to manage and we would be grateful. We were tired and over scheduled and spent every weekend cleaning the house and running errands in the car. After spending thousands of dollars to keep our two children in the best day-programs we couldn't afford we realized that what they and we really needed was more time together and at home. (In fact, almost all of my husband's after-tax salary were paying for daycare and preschool for our 3 year old and infant.)
The proverbial straw arrived on a day that neither of us could miss at our respective offices. That morning A, our three year old, was coughing and had a runny nose and fever. Certainly, it was not a catastrophe, but it was the middle of the H1N1 scare. We decided to split the sick day. My husband stayed with A in the morning and we planned to meet at the pediatrician's office at noon so I could take her to be seen and then take her home. As we handed her off from one to the other in the parking garage we shook our heads and said, "this just isn't us."
So, now my husband is home full time. It only took a few quick calculations (and two very uncomfortable conversations with my husband's employer and our long-time daycare provider) before we had made up a large portion of his salary by cutting down on managed care. Certainly, we could have done a better job of managing two careers. Lots of couples do it very successfully. It just wasn't us.
I don't know if anyone will read this, but it was enjoyable to write. We plan to continue posting about our adventures and reflections as we make our way through much more easily than before.
